"May Allah leads you to a better woman"

"may Allah leads you to a better woman"-mumun.

I read that in her blog. And that little phrase, is beyond inspiring.

I myself for all these years, about 6 years to be exact, was kind of a good ex, maybe. But those words, i never ever thought about that. Yes i might be praying for his happiness, be it with or without me i always say, for him to meet a girl that can make him happy which at this moment as i make this post, i think he have found one. :)

But to pray for Allah to leads him to a better woman than me. Why do i never thought about that.

People talks about redha and forgiving. It is kind of hard to do, yes. Try to be in our shoes and feel how hard it is. But i believe in this two things, if you can forgive, and you are redha enough, insyaAllah it is more easier for you to let go.

Talks about letting go. I clarified myself already let go of him. And talks about the context of letting go, it is not necessary to have a substitute so that you can be happy. Yes it is one of the way but it is not a must.

Don't worry about me. Though he has found a substitute and i am still single. I believe in faith. It is just not my time yet. And i am very happy with what i have now. With all the love from people around me. I am contended.

I have leave my heart opened. Let see who can go through everything go through against the odd to be with me. In silence, i am waiting.

And for that special lucky girl, do know that you are lucky to have an oppurtunity to know him, to love him. He is one of a kind, special in every way. Have patience in dealing him. Yes he is quite weak when there are many attractive girls(sometime not even attractive) around. Put in a lot of trust in him. don't push him too much. He likes to play around but he loves you. He will.:)

And as for us, me and him. I'm not just his ex, i'm his friend, the greatest one in the mean time before you be the greatest friend for him. Put away your jealousy of me. Try to know me and not to forget try to know his friends too. We don't bite. Hehe. and yes, i am quite near with his family, but i hope you don't feel any pressure in that. We cannot do anything as we could break the gf bf relationship but not the family bonds. At the very least, maybe i could drag myself far away to make way for you to come in his family, i will, if you want to. You are lucky, girl. Don't you ever forget that. And please make him happy. It is not hard to put a smile on his face, even a candy could.:) just be there for him. My prayers are all around.

Ikhlas.
From 21 years old nysa.

About me #1

I find myself not attracted to straight forward guys. Its nice to be straight forward, i know. But most probably it is because i'm afraid. I think i need someone to make me fly high then make me fall but that someone will be ready to catch me.

I am sorry for being too stiff. My walls were made higher day by day and its been too long. I'm truly sorry. But i believe there's someone who will willingly breaks those wall, patiently trying. I know. I know. And i'm patiently waiting too.

13july2012

As much as i wanted you to stay, i cannot make you stay.

As much as i wanted to make you my everything, i no longer can do it.

As much as i want to miss you, i know i shouldn't.

What the future held for us? What is there for us to keep?

I just hope we will not hate each other. At least, i hope i won't hate you.

ceritera makanan buka puasa.

1 rejab. aku puasa. semangat. sebab aku ada terbaca post yang cakap rejab bulan Allah. 1 rejab, adalah salah satu daripada 5 malam yang Allah buka langit. some kind of bila langit dibuka, all the prayers will go straight and maybe lebih mudah diperkenankan, who knows. But grab all the opurtunitiy lah kan. and they said berpuasa dua hari di awal rejab menjanjikan pahala besar, so there I go, puasa. :)

tadi jam 3 petang, tengah kelas pun sibuk sudah aku fikir pasal mau berbuka puasa apa. and semakin aku cakap pasal berbuka puasa semakin lah aku lapar. better not to talk about it, :D. 

mulalah fikiran cakap "kalaulah sekarang di rumah. kalaulah sekarang di rumah", "boleh makan itu ini....."

If I am home, pasti aku request banyak-banyak dari ibu. and to have your wishes on food fullfilled when you are fasting is a bless. with that, I have a story. just a kind of flashback. I shouldn't think about this but when talking about hajat hati dipenuhi, I remember this thing.

Last puasa, on the very first day of puasa. Ada someone ni request mau makan ayam masak kicap. em, itu favourite food dia. and he indeed pernah rasa the ayam masak kicap that I made back when we are still in school, form 3. oh yes, I can cook. cook well. :) he cannot make himself back home due to few problems so he requested for it, he says "bukannya tiada kedai di KK ni, but aku mau makan ayam masak kicap kau, at least rasa macam di rumah." 

maka, gigihlah aku masak kan. siap buat custard cake. and dia pun gigih juga drive all the way to papar from KK(bukan jauh pun). he WAS once the person I love. so cooking for someone you love, it is a nice thing to do. its like semua kasih sayang kau curahkan masa memasak tu. every tiny details, potong bawang and all that, its all made out of love. so, masakan kan, bila dibuat dengan kasih sayang, sedap dia lain. 

He really love it and was very thankful. even masa raya when makanan yang disediakan at my home were spaghetti and kari ayam, he still requesting "boleh masak ayam masak kicap?" with that I know, he really like it and I feel appreciated. 

me and him, don't know where we went wrong. Allah knows more about that. perhaps it is a way to protect us both. who knows. he's with other girl now, i'm not sure in a relationship or what and I didn't bring myself to know anything about him again, but sincerely I pray for his happiness and the girl, may you be the best for him. cherish him, accept his flaws as you accept his perfectness. and with that girl, you'll be the happiest girl alive. oh and me? neh, pandailah putera aku datang tu. I didn't search, I'm waiting for the pemilik tulang rusuk. :)

So, the feeling of dapat makanan yang kita mau masa puasa is blissful. apalagi dari orang yang kita sayang. and, menyediakan makanan untuk orang yang kita sayang, pun blissful. I guess that is how our mothers feel when they prepared our food. right. 

and when I'm home, I always cook. cook for my family. ayah, ibu, and adik2, includes cousin or macik pacik, always suka and are so cheerful if I cooked and mesti lingis(licin) ni kalau dorang makan. and that is the blissful moment. bukan susah mau buat orang happy, masak, give them. they will smile sampai telinga. 

and yes, I miss cooking, baking. I'm a girl anyway. dalam ganas, tetap ada juga sikit ciri pandai mengurus rumahtangga. woot woot. :)

selamat berbuka puasa 1 rejab.