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Friday, July 19, 2013

Solat di Masjid tertua dan terbesar Beijing, China.

Assalamualaikum, salam jumaat, selamat segala selamat.

Seperti yang ramai maklum ataupun tidak maklum, gue ini berpeluang ke China selama dua minggu mulai 29jun-14julai yang lepas atas urusan Universiti. Maka, sempatlah juga berpuasa beberapa hari di perantauan.

Memang banyak pengalaman lain yang boleh dikongsi. tapi, memandangkan hari ini hari jumaat dan apa yang mahu dicerita ini pun berlaku exactly seminggu lalu dan tiba-tiba kerajinan datang, gue mau share lah kunun pasal pengalaman gue bersolat di Masjid tertua di China, Alhamdulillah, syukur pada Allah atas kesempatan yang diberikan.



Jumaat lepas, saya dan rakan-rakan berpeluang untuk pergi ke Masjid tertua dan terbesar di China, yang bernama Masjid Niujie. Kenapa namanya niujie, menurut yang saya google, :p

"Masjid Niujie (bahasa Cina: 牛街清真寺; pinyin: niújiē qīngzhēnsì) adalah masjid paling tua dan bersejarah di Beijing, ibukota negara Republik Rakyat Cina (RRC). MASJID Niujie. Niujie ertinya ‘Jalan Sapi atau lembu.’ Kerana sejak dulunya warga di wilayah ini menjual masakan halal, terutama yang menggunakan bahan baku daging lembu atau sapi. Justeru tidak hairan jika kawasan ini dipenuhi oleh restoran-restoran Muslim. Berada di dalam area kompleks seluas lebih kurang 6,000 meter persegi."

Terima kasih diucapkan kepada Mr Chong, pensyarah pengiring kami yang walaupun bukan beragama Islam tetapi telah mengaturkan perjalanan untuk membawa kami ke sini. Kebetulan pula hari jumaat kan, jadi alhamdulillah berpeluang juga tiba pada masa zuhur, masa solat jumaat. namun, kami tiba awal sedikit dalam 1245 tengah hari(waktu Malaysia dan China tiada perbezaan) dan waktu solat jumaat adalah pada 1330 petang.. tapi, betapa memahaminya Mr Chong dan rakan-rakan non muslim yang lain apabila mereka willingly mahu menunggu di luar masjid(ada yang memakai short pant masa itu dan short pant tidak dibenarkan masuk) dan memberi kami masa sehingga 2 petang. Kami cukup tersentuh dengan kebaikan dan kehormatan yang mereka beri terhadap kami yang berbangsa Islam.

Semasa melangkah masuk ke dalam masjid, hati terasa syahdu dan sayu, lagi terdengar alunan bacaan al-quran sebab sudah dua minggu di negara orang dan tidak berpeluang ke mana-mana masjid dan dua minggu jugalah tiada terdengar walaupun secebis salam melainkan daripada antara rakan-rakan sendiri.

It is kind of an amazing experience to see saudara semuslim dari negara yang lain. Muslim dan Muslimah di China adalah lebih cerah, cantik dan kacak berbanding orang cina di sana. Semasa kami masuk, kami lalu bahagian solat lelaki dan kebanyakkan sedang menunggu waktu solat jumaat, mereka membentangkan sejadah di halaman luar masjid saja. Muslimin di sana semuanya memakai kopiah berwarna putih semasa berada di dalam masjid, songkok tidak kelihatan. dan sewaktu pergi ke ruangan perempuan pula, nampak perbezaan cara kami berpakaian dan mereka, dari cara bertudung sehinggalah pakaiannya.

Bangunan masjid tiadalah kubah berbulan dan berbintang, kalau dari luar rupanya seperti tokong cina juga tapi bezanya terdapat banyak ukiran ukiran tulisan jawi lah.

uniknya semasa melangkah masuk ruangan solat perempuan, sudah terdapat ramai warga tua berbaju serba putih dan duduk di ruang yang ada meja. mula-mula tu fikir dorang baca al-quran atau baca buku. kami ni terus-terus lah solat zuhur sekali jamak dengan asar, siap bertelekung. hairan juga kami, sebab tiada seorang pun mereka yang solat atau apa. rupanya dorang pun tunggu masa solat jumaat. masa menunggu tu, tidak sepatah pun dengar orang bercerita sebab kalau ada yang bercerita akan ada orang yang menegur.

selepas kami solat, kami pun tunggulah di dalam masjid tu. dengar khutbah dalam masa mandarin. terus tiba-tiba masa iqamah, bangunlah mereka semua ni. mungkin sebab mazhab berbeza maka perempuan-perempuan di sana pun turut solat jumaat. dorang solat pun tidak pakai telekung, cukup berstokin dan menutup segala kecuali muka dan tapak tangan. dan ramai warga tua yang berrbaju serba putih yang duduk di meja saya cakap tadi tu, adalah mereka yang mengerjakan solat secara duduk. Amazing kan, even tempat solat duduk untuk mereka yang tidak berkemampuan turut disediakan.

video di atas tu saya mau tunjuk cara bacaan ayat di sana saja.

dan seterusnya ini gambar-gambar masa dalam masjid itulah.

 ini gambar sewaktu baru masuk masjid. 





 see, 1613, lamanya sudah masjid ini.


 yang bertelekung tu kami-kami.

ini yang ruangan solat duduk tu.


dan ini pula kami yang beramah mesra konon nya dengan makcik makcik di sana. they can speak a few malay words like selipar. :p



amboi macam gambar raya pun ada, hehe. 

ini pula gambar secara panorama yang sempat saya ambil.


lebih kurang jam 1.50 petang, kami bergerak keluar dari masjid. di luar masjid pula, sayu melihat ramai pengemis, katanya berbangsa Islam dan memberi salam tapi macam ragu-ragu pun ada sebab kenapa mereka tidak solat jumaat kan. Makcik tadi pun pesan, jangan beri apa apa. tidak lama lepas tu, ternampak ada warga indonesia agaknya memberi sedekah, langsung segala pengemis berkejaran ke arah beliau. pemandangan yang agak tidak cantik lah dilihat sebab depan masjid kan. itulah gunanya ada polis di hadapan masjid, jadi polis-polis China pun bertindak. 

Sementara menunggu pelajar-pelajar lelaki keluar, kami menunggu di pinti hadapan. masa itulah mata scanning scanning, memang semuanya handsome-handsome ya ampunnnnnnn. :p




jadi, itulah sedikit sebanyak sharing yang saya ada.

knowing that I might not be here anymore, but still I keep a wish to come back here if I got another chance.
even I don't have the oppurtunity to perform tarawih when I was in China but being able to experience to pray even for one time is merely extraordinary experience and I am really grateful for this. 

Salam ramadhan. 

Monday, April 15, 2013

the busy week

4.21 a.m waktu Malaysia.

Tidak dapat tidur. entah apa sebab. sama ada terlebih tidur siang. ataupun memang ada baka-baka owl. mungkin aku ni owl pada kelahiran lalu, lalu memang mata segar bugar pada jam sebegini.

Pada yang sedia maklum, minggu ini, 20 April 2013, Festival Bayu Kenyalang akan diadakan di UMP buat julung-julung kalinya. The first time ever budaya sabah dan sarawak akan diekspreskan di bumi universiti malaysia pahang. Dan aku, ialah, Ketua bahagian persembahan, merangkap Stage Manager untuk festival ini.  Dan itulah penjelasan di atas segala kesibukan aku selama ini. ya, walaupun, kesibukan dunia semata.

Stage Manager tapi, most of the works macam aku yang buat. eh, ini memang bukan masa mengeluh. dan bak kata seseorang tadi, yang buat aku tersedar, "tidak akan ada orang akan tanya eh siapa buat ini siapa buat itu, what they want is just the end result." betul kata beliau. jadi tiadalah gunanya kau mengungkit sebakul atau dua bakul sekalipun. tidak perlu pun kau menjaja cerita "half of the preapration were done by me, myself and I". you see, biar orang yang nilai apa kau buat, people see, people would clearly see your effort, IF there's any effort you made lah. 

Tadi, dari jam 8 malam, sehinggalah 1130 malam, diadakan meeting. sana sini cacat cela majlis dikorek. terpancar lah wajah wajah risau, terkerut sana sini, terpucat sana sini mencari penyelesaian. yang mencari penyelesaian berapa ciput ja, yang lain setakat mendengar tambah taik telinga. eh geram aku. 

komitmen. for everything in this world, COMMITMENT. benda yang paling susah kau mau dapat dari semua orang. tidaklah juga aku mau angkat bakul sorong troli sendiri, tapi aku ni boleh kata komited juga orangnya, kalau, aku kata kalau ya, aku komited kalau aku curah keikhlasan aku dalam sesuatu. tapi aku tau, aku nda boleh samakan diri aku dengan orang lain. dan harap orang lain akan jadi komited macam aku juga. mungkin komitmen dorang ni kureng sikit. tapi sanggup pula berkomitmen kalau demi boipreng. eh? 
entahlah kamu kamu. its just, when the job has fallen to your shoulder, and you has agreed to do that job, then why don't you put your whole heart in it? its not like orang paksa, kau juga kata ya I can. then why now cannot leh?

owweee, its the last week. 5 days, 120 hours to FBK. dan aku pula mencarut membebel di sini, no use. So, lets just do everything we could. like EVERYTHING. sudah2lah mengungkit, buat ja. bilang cintakan sabah sarawak sangat. bilang geram kalau sabah sarawak dikutuk, jadi, marilah sama sama bah buat kerja. :)






Stage Manager, if the shows that night is brilliant, then I'll be the lady of the night. The stage is mine to honor.
not mine exactly, its ours.

Good luck. to myself, and all.

10am quiz for tomorrow(monday), and a lab in the evening.
a test on wednesday morning.
then,I'm all yours, FBK.

cheers to the busy week.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

bisa berpujangga. bisa menoreh.

5.22 pagi.

mulut aku bisa berpujangga. 
apalagi di saat embun mula menitik daun. 
maka sebelum ayat bisa menoreh, 
eloklah aku beransur pergi. 
kerja lagi.

kerja.

dan terus. kerja.

*bisa pertama bermaksud bisa, boleh.
*bisa kedua, bermaksud bisa, racun.

manusia berkepala otak, bisa berubah hati.


aku selesa begini.
tidur tidak didodoi, bangun tidak disambut.
oleh any text I mean.
sibuk aku,aku nda minta siapa2 faham.
jgn paksa diri utk faham.
mula-mula memang kau kata faham.
kata “ya, aku okay.” bila ada text yang tidak aku terbalas dek kesibukan.
tapi kau manusia juga kan. pelan2, jadi greedy.
greedy. tamak.

perlahan-lahan, 
kau minta apa yang aku tidak dapat beri,
untuk ganti kau dengan masa sibuk aku,
untuk itu, 
aku tidak mampu.

aku takut, tahu?
sekurang-kurangnya kerja aku tidak akan ranapkan hati aku,
tapi, 
kau manusia.
manusia berkepala otak,
yang boleh berubah hati.

jadi kalau nanti hati kau berubah,
mana mungkin aku bisa kuat lagi.
jadi, biar tiada.

satu ranap sudah cukup.
tidak boleh dua tiga kali. 
nanti mati jiwa ini. 

Thursday, March 7, 2013

to fall in love, with me.

Before falling in love with me, you must know about the constant meltdown. You must know about my damaged heart, and my broken soul. Be aware that I never sleep at night, and sometimes I cry myself to sleep because I'm too tired of my daily life and routine. You must know about my need for your love, my need for your supports through my rough days and my constant fear of losing you. And know about my terrible fear of cats and the way I act ignorant to all the things happening around because I'm afraid of being hurt. 

But once you fall in love with that part of me, you can fall in love with my delicate smile. you can fall in love with the way I remembered all the tiny little details about you, your life. You can fall in love with the way I'll bake you cakes, not only for your birthday, but anytime when you feel like to eat one. The way i'll cheer you up when you have a hard day to go through. fall in love with the way I laugh and all the encouragement words that I'll give to you. fall in love with all the surprises I made because I'm so good in making people heart's warm at all the time that you won't see it coming. 

then, you can fall in love with me as a whole, or not love me at all. 

sincerely, 
nisa. 
:)

Sunday, February 24, 2013

1st post for 2013

Hello 2013.

and its the last week of February.
nothing much. Don't really feel like sharing anything. 

just this once. picked from http://yasminthefilmmaker.blogspot.com/
its the late yasmin ahmad's blog. Al-fatihah as you came across this. 

here it is, 

"I wept recognizing that no one was perfect, and that if we expected to be loved for all our imperfections, why are we so reluctant to accept and forgive the imperfections of others?"

I believe you're good enough with words to understand exactly what that mean. accept. and accept. accept. 

we tend to ask people to accept our flaws, but yet, we always forget to be the one who accept others flaws. right? 

take care, good hearts!

Sunday, November 18, 2012

sendiri mohon, sendiri lari

aku doa minta cinta.
tapi bila cinta datang, 
aku takut,
aku lari, 
konon takut mahu sakit lagi.

jadi, kenapa minta.
aneh.
kan.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

a little bit here and there

woah, it's been quite a while since the last time I wrote here. 

few months ago, how was I like? some kind of broken is it? :)

hello everybody, how's your life going? how's your heart beating? 

2.00 a.m, 17 november 2012. suddenly I'm in mood to write down something here, a world of my own, where I can mingle down all my words and thoughts. 

My life, for these few months. awesome, hectic, but yet, towards, the end of year, it started to be a disaster. 

let's start with early september shall we. semester 5 saya baru bermula pada masa itu. But then, sejak minggu pertama september itu, sampailah sekarang, kerja saya travel saja. cool? no. heh. end of september, I'm in Penang for some University activities, then back from penang, I'm busy choreographing, hah, choreographing gituuuu. mampu? :p sebab I'll not be around for the show, so I do the choreograph part. early october, I was in Kuching for my cousin's convo. hebat kan nok, mau juga pergi kuching. haruslah, cucu pertama, and well, siapalah mau kena kasi tinggal kalau bab holiday. kan? end of october, I had a road trip to bentong,pahang. to berjaya hills resort, some sort of colmar tropicale alike, nice place. and there, for the first time, I tried rock climbing. fun, tapi sakit. then early november, I was in terengganu for festkum, festival kebudayaan universiti-universiti malaysia. and, last week, I'm back home. and today, I'm typing lively from my hostel room. so, each month, I travel, here and there. and guess what? insyaAllah I'll be in riau, indonesia for december, for some U activity again. pergi lebih jauh nampaknya yaaa. syukur alhamdulillah di atas rezeki Allah. :)

next, whats to update? yeah, yeah, I know, pastilah about cinta. nda gitu? haha. boring~~ neah.

love life. still. 2182 days already being single. haha. saja ja do the counting in days, barulah gempak.
but, seriously, fully single and available is, since few months ago I thought, fully not connected via heart or what so ever with that somebody-i-used-to-know. and yes, I'm better off without him. neah, we remains as a friend. haha. good friend. what to do. we are too good as a friend, lovers, no luck.

so, cut the story short, sebenarnya aku baru saja perasan tentang diri aku yang sudah terlalu lama numb, a good friend had asked this "so, kalau kau nampak lelaki handsome, you dont go like wahhhh handsomenyaaa dia, aku mau dia things? no? at all?" and to her amazement, i said noo. how blunt, how numb i was back then. and that question were asked few months ago. so, what, i'm numb like 5 years more. no, that was not numb, that was stupid little me. But to my own surprise, recently, aku pandai sudah tengok jejaka ganteng and oh God, why did you close my eyes and my heart for too long. There are like zillions tons cute guys out there. weehooooo. sekadar cuci mata saja lah. cuci hati? sikitlah. :D

soal hati. kosong masih. belum terisi. and you're welcome to change that. :D orang tanya, kenapa single? aku jawab, tiada orang mau. and that was a real answer. mungkin ada kali yang mau tapi nda berani mau suarakan, apa barang. hehe. or menurut mama si zati, "tu lah, suka mandi bogel, itulah jin jatuh hati, jadi manusia semua tiada yang jatuh hati sama kau." that was shocking. :/ please don;t be true, hehe. but still, soal hati dan cinta, kalau cinta tu mau datang, it will find it owns way. and I, will concentrate on being a good me, a good myself first, prepare myself for that special someone. :) cepatlah datang cari saya, putera sayang~ :)

study? semester 5 is a disaster. tapi mungkin its time, untuk buka mata aku, untuk keluar dari zon selamat. 2 semester sebelumnya, aku main kah, keluar jalan kah, menari tunggang langgangkah, still result daebak. But then semester 5, I don't know, and its hard to predict, lulus tu iyalah, but cemerlang, this time no. and I'm a deep struggle to maintain my study and dancing stuff. and I might fail this time management thing this time. sendiri cari sakit, sendiri tanggung orang kata. I don;t know what to say. saat macam ni, mau berhenti pengajian punya rasa pun ada, but then, sudah separuh jalan, jadi usunglah saja apa yang boleh. yakin dengan Allah, hasbi Allah, La hawla wa quwwata illah billah, Allah ada untuk tolong, insyaAllah.

dari segi sababat, well, as I always say, talk about love, I have no luck in that thing. But in friendship things, count me in, I got the best team of friends of all. Alhamdulillah, I am surrounded with good friends, all of them are good, and that is the best presents from Allah that I don't wish to trade with anything. biarlah tiada cinta kalau begini, asal ada kawan-kawan yang baik, pun cukup sudah. :) to name those good people? neah, no need, there's tons of them, habis tercabut keypad laptop menaip nama kamu semua pun tidak habis juga tertaip, so, you know who you are, I love you, each of you. thank you for always being there, through gemuk atau kurusnya aku, through all. :D

families, whats there to story, I got the best families too. :) 

so, whats else you want to know? recent activities, love life, study, friend and family, all updated in yeah, little bit here and there lah, kalau mau complete story, you are welcome to miss call me, lets have a talk. :)

so, new year is coming, it seems like i'll enter 2013 as a single lady, again, for the 6th years. dasar foreveralone. -.-"

but still, i'm happy, and blessed, and contented with the loves around me. syukran Allah. 

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Late night thoughts 1

Can i ever love again?
This heart, can it feels again?

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Quoted

No matter how hurt could we get in the past, we still can't denied the truth that we still want to be happy... AGAIN. - quoted from a friend

Monday, August 13, 2012

About me #2

I'm allergic to sweet talker. It takes a real special someone to make me feels that sweet talk is sweet.

If you talk sweet and all i feel is irritation, you failed so just stop or korean say Geummanhae.

You have to know that all those sweet talk, it didn't go just for anybody. Save all those sweet talks for the real one, can you? No?

Pure friendship? Pure love?

I was on the phone with one of my babe last few days. We are talking about, well we talked a lot of course haha. But mainly we open up this issue about love and friendship. Yeah boring~~~~

She did this, confessing her feelings to her best friend. How it happens, it is not the main thing about what I'm about to talk. But this. She said "thats the biggest mistake I've ever made in our friendship, i wont do it again, i wouldn't want to lose my best friend again, i wouldn't want to lose all the laugh we had......"

Confessing our love is not a mistake, i tell her. "ya, tidak salah tapi dengan itu situasi jadi serba salah" which after that i agree. Things became so awkward after that, it takes month of silence before everything be the same like before. Not same, but at least better than silence.

What captured my attention is this "i wouldn't want to lose all the laugh we had...." then i know she's talking about the real friendship. Pure friendship.

I was like ah so this is how real friendship is, i mean between a girl and a boy. Sebab aku pegang mazhab 'tiada lelaki dan perempuan boleh berkawan tanpa ada rasa cinta, pasti ada yang terlebih rasa'.

That feelings, yang dia rasa, biarlah aku hilangkan rasa cinta ni, yang penting aku nda hilang beat friend aku, yang penting kami masih boleh berketawa, ada tempat aku meluah and all that.

That's a remarkable feeling you know. So pure. As long as i have him as friend, it is more than enough.

I always think that I'm building a friendship with my ex. My case might be different because he's my best friend too so it is indeed hard to say the good bye. But i have this thinking that as a friend, I have to leave because I'm giving him spaces so he can love other girls without me on his sight. Well now people, that is not pure friendship. That is a bit feeling of love still hanging within myself. Because if I'm really a good friend, i'll stay, forgetting what ever love that we had, and stay, at least, so that i can hear all the laughter of a friend like what my babe said.

No I'm not thinking of going back or looking back but comparing myself to my babe, i should have stayed.

A pure friendship, it means, we can lose everything, every other thing but not the tears and joy of the people that means the world to us, which is our best friend. Its like you and I, against the world.

But pure love means, it is okay to lose the people that we love as long as they can be happy with the one they love. It is okay, let me cry in silence and you be happy. That is love. Pure love.

For love, it is okay to see your love one from distance.

But for friendship, no that is not okay,i have to be near to share the laughter and joy!

Because friendship means sharing, and love is all about sacrificing.

And that pure love that i meant it can be with anybody not just for lovebirds, for a mother to the child for example maybe something happen and make their relationship turns bad but a mother will still be watching and praying from far away.

Or the better example is how Allah love us despite we're doing so many unforgiven sins, how Allah give us many things even though we're doing all the wrong thing instead of sujud padaNya. That is pure love.

But you're lucky if you can get pure love and friendship from the same person. i used to think that i'm lucky because i used to have that. unfortunately, not anymore. :)

So, that is a bit about pure love and pure friendship from the sight of 21 years old me. Very soon to be 22.

A little advice

You're not supposed to say people changed after knowing s/he just for few months.

Because in just little time, people don't change, but it is just the beginning of showing the real part of them.

And. Here's the little advice baby girl, he didn't changed, he just get bored.....

Monday, August 6, 2012

Mending the pieces 1

It is amazing how we can update about each other in just few minutes, despite months not talking to each other.

They say, true friendship comes when silence becomes comfortable between two. :)

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Doa ibu

29 july. Puasa ke 9.

Aku tidur awal tapi around 1am aku terbangun sebab bunyi notification twitter dari phone. Meol tweet "xnak ikut baking class ke?" hahah. Then rancak lah aku tweeting. Tweet punya tweet tidak sedar sampai jam 2 sudah. So alang-alang lah kan teruskan sampai sahur sebab aku lah tukang masak family, kalau aku terlajak tidur naya juga jadi peyebab seisi rumah nda sahur kan. So alarm untuk masak ialah jam315. Sementara tunggu 315 memang aku tweeting dan dengar lagu ja.

Tepat 315 am, aku pun turun lah mau pegi dapur and this is the moment where i saw a beautiful very beautiful scene. I saw my mum, my ibu sedang sujud di sejadah, tahajud. Mata terus berair okay. Bayangkan patutnya kalau kita nda boleh tidur, kita beribadah lah kan bukan macam aku tweeting.

They said. Salah satu keberkatan yang kita ada dalam hidup ini ialah keberkatan doa ibu. Indahnya. Ever wonder dari mana datangnya hati kamu yang kuat mau hadapi break up? Dari mana datangnya result yang bagus walaupun malas kalah babi? Dari mana datangnya rezeki bila kau rasa tiada duit sudah? Dari mana datangnya ketenangan hati?

Ya betul, memang ada banyak faktor lain untuk kita dapat segala jenis kekuatan, segala jenis kesenangan. Tapi bagi aku, salah satu sebab terbaik ialah doa ibu. Paling mujarab. And pernahkah kamu berterima kasih atas semua doa doa ibu?

Yang kamu tau pasal doa ni kalau masa exam ja kan? Di situlah kau ' mak doakan aku ya?' kalau mama aida, bila aida cakap macam tu, mama dia jawab 'iya nak, jangan susah, memang hari-hari mama kasi doa kau tapi kau mesti belajar juga kalau nda biar banyak didoa pun nda kau berjaya' ehehe. :P

Spend a little time, wish your mum thank you for all her prayers will you?

Setiap kali aku birthday or even in random times, ibu always text me saying that 'ibu p mana2 pun ibu nda pernah lupa doakan anak-anak ibu' and i believe every mother in this world will do the same thing despite religions and all that, every mother will be just the same.

Its just i really2 believe in doa ibu you know. So bila nampak ibu tahajud i imagined she has a lot to say to Allah, she has a lot to wish and pray for her husband, for her children, for her family, for her friend. I imagined she has a lot to ask from Allah, things that money cannot buy, things that she cannot give to us. Such as rezeki, good result, ketabahan, kekuatan, keselamatan.

I seriously believe in that. Terutama lah aku ni broken heart sentiasa by the same guy. Its not broken cuma yala kisah yang tidak berkesudahan. But my heart is kind of strong, i am not showing off, i just want to illustrate more. So i believe this kind of strong heart come from her prayers and most of it comes from her gene lah.

Take some time to say thanks to your mother, hug her. Okay? Her prayers make you you today! Her prayers keep you safe! And kalau ibu anda berada bersama Tuhan, its your time to send some prayers for her.:) say thank you, she is listening.:)

Oh and you too should pray a lot for your mother!



Very well people.
Salam ramadhan.

"May Allah leads you to a better woman"

"may Allah leads you to a better woman"-mumun.

I read that in her blog. And that little phrase, is beyond inspiring.

I myself for all these years, about 6 years to be exact, was kind of a good ex, maybe. But those words, i never ever thought about that. Yes i might be praying for his happiness, be it with or without me i always say, for him to meet a girl that can make him happy which at this moment as i make this post, i think he have found one. :)

But to pray for Allah to leads him to a better woman than me. Why do i never thought about that.

People talks about redha and forgiving. It is kind of hard to do, yes. Try to be in our shoes and feel how hard it is. But i believe in this two things, if you can forgive, and you are redha enough, insyaAllah it is more easier for you to let go.

Talks about letting go. I clarified myself already let go of him. And talks about the context of letting go, it is not necessary to have a substitute so that you can be happy. Yes it is one of the way but it is not a must.

Don't worry about me. Though he has found a substitute and i am still single. I believe in faith. It is just not my time yet. And i am very happy with what i have now. With all the love from people around me. I am contended.

I have leave my heart opened. Let see who can go through everything go through against the odd to be with me. In silence, i am waiting.

And for that special lucky girl, do know that you are lucky to have an oppurtunity to know him, to love him. He is one of a kind, special in every way. Have patience in dealing him. Yes he is quite weak when there are many attractive girls(sometime not even attractive) around. Put in a lot of trust in him. don't push him too much. He likes to play around but he loves you. He will.:)

And as for us, me and him. I'm not just his ex, i'm his friend, the greatest one in the mean time before you be the greatest friend for him. Put away your jealousy of me. Try to know me and not to forget try to know his friends too. We don't bite. Hehe. and yes, i am quite near with his family, but i hope you don't feel any pressure in that. We cannot do anything as we could break the gf bf relationship but not the family bonds. At the very least, maybe i could drag myself far away to make way for you to come in his family, i will, if you want to. You are lucky, girl. Don't you ever forget that. And please make him happy. It is not hard to put a smile on his face, even a candy could.:) just be there for him. My prayers are all around.

Ikhlas.
From 21 years old nysa.

About me #1

I find myself not attracted to straight forward guys. Its nice to be straight forward, i know. But most probably it is because i'm afraid. I think i need someone to make me fly high then make me fall but that someone will be ready to catch me.

I am sorry for being too stiff. My walls were made higher day by day and its been too long. I'm truly sorry. But i believe there's someone who will willingly breaks those wall, patiently trying. I know. I know. And i'm patiently waiting too.

Friday, July 13, 2012

13july2012

As much as i wanted you to stay, i cannot make you stay.

As much as i wanted to make you my everything, i no longer can do it.

As much as i want to miss you, i know i shouldn't.

What the future held for us? What is there for us to keep?

I just hope we will not hate each other. At least, i hope i won't hate you.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

ceritera makanan buka puasa.

1 rejab. aku puasa. semangat. sebab aku ada terbaca post yang cakap rejab bulan Allah. 1 rejab, adalah salah satu daripada 5 malam yang Allah buka langit. some kind of bila langit dibuka, all the prayers will go straight and maybe lebih mudah diperkenankan, who knows. But grab all the opurtunitiy lah kan. and they said berpuasa dua hari di awal rejab menjanjikan pahala besar, so there I go, puasa. :)

tadi jam 3 petang, tengah kelas pun sibuk sudah aku fikir pasal mau berbuka puasa apa. and semakin aku cakap pasal berbuka puasa semakin lah aku lapar. better not to talk about it, :D. 
mulalah fikiran cakap "kalaulah sekarang di rumah. kalaulah sekarang di rumah", "boleh makan itu ini....."
If I am home, pasti aku request banyak-banyak dari ibu. and to have your wishes on food fullfilled when you are fasting is a bless. with that, I have a story. just a kind of flashback. I shouldn't think about this but when talking about hajat hati dipenuhi, I remember this thing.

Last puasa, on the very first day of puasa. Ada someone ni request mau makan ayam masak kicap. em, itu favourite food dia. and he indeed pernah rasa the ayam masak kicap that I made back when we are still in school, form 3. oh yes, I can cook. cook well. :) he cannot make himself back home due to few problems so he requested for it, he says "bukannya tiada kedai di KK ni, but aku mau makan ayam masak kicap kau, at least rasa macam di rumah." 

maka, gigihlah aku masak kan. siap buat custard cake. and dia pun gigih juga drive all the way to papar from KK(bukan jauh pun). he WAS once the person I love. so cooking for someone you love, it is a nice thing to do. its like semua kasih sayang kau curahkan masa memasak tu. every tiny details, potong bawang and all that, its all made out of love. so, masakan kan, bila dibuat dengan kasih sayang, sedap dia lain. 

He really love it and was very thankful. even masa raya when makanan yang disediakan at my home were spaghetti and kari ayam, he still requesting "boleh masak ayam masak kicap?" with that I know, he really like it and I feel appreciated. 

me and him, don't know where we went wrong. Allah knows more about that. perhaps it is a way to protect us both. who knows. he's with other girl now, i'm not sure in a relationship or what and I didn't bring myself to know anything about him again, but sincerely I pray for his happiness and the girl, may you be the best for him. cherish him, accept his flaws as you accept his perfectness. and with that girl, you'll be the happiest girl alive. oh and me? neh, pandailah putera aku datang tu. I didn't search, I'm waiting for the pemilik tulang rusuk. :)

So, the feeling of dapat makanan yang kita mau masa puasa is blissful. apalagi dari orang yang kita sayang. and, menyediakan makanan untuk orang yang kita sayang, pun blissful. I guess that is how our mothers feel when they prepared our food. right. 

and when I'm home, I always cook. cook for my family. ayah, ibu, and adik2, includes cousin or macik pacik, always suka and are so cheerful if I cooked and mesti lingis(licin) ni kalau dorang makan. and that is the blissful moment. bukan susah mau buat orang happy, masak, give them. they will smile sampai telinga. 

and yes, I miss cooking, baking. I'm a girl anyway. dalam ganas, tetap ada juga sikit ciri pandai mengurus rumahtangga. woot woot. :)

selamat berbuka puasa 1 rejab.


Saturday, May 19, 2012

as cousin masuk matrik esok, aku pula mengimbau kenangan.

esok, one of my cousin akan masuk matrik. matrikulasi labuan. this is the first time for her to leave home, and this is the first experience for her parents to send away their child from home. As I type this post, they're staying at grand dorsett labuan, one of the finest hotel there, fully supported by my bapa tua. such a bless eh, actually the room was for my bapa tua sebab anak dia pun sepatutnya masuk matrik but to cut story short, his son tidak jadi masuk matrik sebab he chose unimas so all the facilities that were booked earlier goes to us. eh, us pula kan? haha. my ayah and my bro pun follow them juga as my ayah kan experienced sudah menghantar aku, her one and only daughter.

dari tadi petang, aku sedang merisaukan my cousin ni. aku fikir nanti dia homesick. and aku fikir pasal her mum juga. oh, my cousin name? hani nadhirah. i call her ira. oh and yes, she's beautiful. :) after ira dapat tau dia akan masuk matrik, she text me a lot, asking about what to bring, what to wear there, what to buy, this and that. "kak, boleh pakai tudung apa ja di sana kah?", "kak, baju mesti berkolar?", "kak, boleh pakai selipar?", "kak, heater mau bawa? iron?" some kind of nice juga bila diri ini dijadikan rujukan. :D

so, as aku terfikir2 pasal macam mana lah ira ni esok, aku pun membuka lah topik di bilik aku ni. pasal kenangan mula-mula masuk matrik. maka bergelak tawa lah kami ni mengingat. all the cries and laughter. all the homesick. there I tell you, yang bodoh2 masa dulu yang buat kita ketawa today kan. :)

one of my roommate, name norjan, jenis yang cry out loud. so norjan said as her kakak walk out the door, she cries like berhabis meraung, didn't think about orang lain langsung. and she called her mum.

"mak, pulanglah aku!"
"jadi ndalah kau belajar?"
"belajar mak, form6 di kampung pun boleh. wuwuwuwu."


aku pernah dengar norjan menangis, so it is kind of pure cry from heart you know. yang kuat sambil tersengguk-sengguk. eh, what we call that? tersengguk is it? so, as I imagine about her crying, I laugh lah. must be funny.

and for aida pula. she said, baru ja sampai matrik, she was already counting about berapa hari mau balik rumah. like "satu bulan, 10 hari" and all that. and again calling with her mum.

"mak, aku mau pulang"
"iya, mamak pun rindu kau"
*tiba-tiba kakak aida yang rampas telefon
"ini jalan yang kau pilih!teruskan lah hidupmu sana!

boleh pula macam tu kan? ganas kakak aida ni, bukan nda sayang. but dalam setiap keluarga akan ada satu penguat semangat, since mama aida pun jenis lembut hati, silap-silap kalau kakak aida tiada at that time, free-free aida pulang sandakan berhenti matrik.

and as for me? my family, i mean, ibu and me jenis tabah-tabah punya orang kan. some kind of ego maybe mau nangis depan-depan, yang jenis cries softly at behind, yang jenis cepat2 bergerak after berpelukan so that we didn't cry in front of each other. so aku tiada lah cerita yang meraung-raung ni. and as aku sudah berjauh dari rumah since form 1, kurang lah sikit berat masa mau masuk matrik, but still berat lah yang macam tiba-tiba jantung aku berat 100kg before jalan dari rumah. but about being away from home, the best story of me is when my mum send me away masa form 1.

ayah saja yang hantar aku sampai SMSL(sek men sains labuan) masa tu. and preparation was fully made by ibu, that one day, yang aku bangun, and nampak 2 big luggage were fulled. hanger, jam loceng, sabun, baju, sweater, selipar tandas, complete! tinggal angkat and jalan. and masatu kan masi kecil, muda, so we are thinking about spending time with friends only, so masa mau jalan tu I didn't cry lah. but when ayah about to go, aku cakap. "bye, jalanlah ayah cepat!" sebab my tears was di hujung-hujung mata sudah. and malam tu, cuci kain. ehem, 1st time lah cuci kain pakai tangan, so as aku memberus tu, setiap berusan diiringi dengan esakan. and kalau orang lain masuk tandas, barulah esakan stopped, and lepas orang keluar, sambung teresak balik. homesick, semua orang pernah rasa. setabah mana pun, selelelaki mana pun, semua orang pernah rasa and cry like a baby to sleep just because of homesick.

and as for my dearest Ibu, ayah told me, the first time i was away from her, she was like dying. she walked to her workplace crying all the way. cry the whole weak, everytime masa makan, cry cry and cry. :') she said "apalah nisa makan ni?" :') awh, ibu, kasihmu sampai syurga. i know you think I didn't know about this til now but ayah did tell me a long time ago. same goes to this last year, when my bro mau sambung belajar WALAUPUN di kk ja yang only an hour from home pun, she called my aunt and lemah-lemah she says "si anip mau sambung belajar sudah. siapa lah di rumah ni. sunyi lah kami ni" ibu ibu, engkaulah ratu hatiku.

kalau diberi pilihan, nda aku mau jauh-jauh ni betul. sebab bila lagi aku mau di rumah. pasni kerja, pas kerja kahwin, so when lah aku akan habiskan masa dengan my ibu lagi. so ada hikmah juga single ni. paling kurang 3 4 tahun lagi kahwin, so 3 4 tahun ni ja la aku ada masa mau spend time with family and friends. kan kan. nah, that is one of the positive side of being single. pernah nda kau terfikir macam tu?;)

so berbalik pada cerita ira.

"ira, kakak tau, besok as ibu abah, apis and ijam walk out of your door room, you will cried your lungs out. as you stay the first night there, you will cry yourself to bed. but dear, endure the pain ya?" you were out for good. it is the time to face the world, walaupun kejam, this is the process to become a person. go there, study saja. jangan fikir pasal rumah. ibu abah, your sisters and brothers pandai lah atur hidup dorang without you at home. ayam2 pun kak mary kasi makan, jangan risau. :) kalau ada orang mengurat, layan saja. but study is your priority. score 4 flat. jangan jadi macam kakak. :) Iloveyou. call me anytime. I'm here for you. best wishes from kakak, love all the way from pahang. "

and ada one funny story between nenek dan ira.

"kau mau jadi apa nanti lepas matrik?"
"doktor kali nek"
"nda payah lah! jadi engineer saja supaya boleh kerja di sabah!"

haha. :D

nenek got this phobia where her one and only daughter, maci mismah, was away from home masa muda, kahwin semenanjung, live KL til now and jarang balik kampung. So, nenek don't wan't us, her cucu to be away. nenek pun selalu tanya aku

"nanti kau kerja di sini sini saja kan? ada kan kerja kau di kk kk?" nenek nenek. :)

this me and ira, last raya.