as cousin masuk matrik esok, aku pula mengimbau kenangan.

esok, one of my cousin akan masuk matrik. matrikulasi labuan. this is the first time for her to leave home, and this is the first experience for her parents to send away their child from home. As I type this post, they're staying at grand dorsett labuan, one of the finest hotel there, fully supported by my bapa tua. such a bless eh, actually the room was for my bapa tua sebab anak dia pun sepatutnya masuk matrik but to cut story short, his son tidak jadi masuk matrik sebab he chose unimas so all the facilities that were booked earlier goes to us. eh, us pula kan? haha. my ayah and my bro pun follow them juga as my ayah kan experienced sudah menghantar aku, her one and only daughter.

dari tadi petang, aku sedang merisaukan my cousin ni. aku fikir nanti dia homesick. and aku fikir pasal her mum juga. oh, my cousin name? hani nadhirah. i call her ira. oh and yes, she's beautiful. :) after ira dapat tau dia akan masuk matrik, she text me a lot, asking about what to bring, what to wear there, what to buy, this and that. "kak, boleh pakai tudung apa ja di sana kah?", "kak, baju mesti berkolar?", "kak, boleh pakai selipar?", "kak, heater mau bawa? iron?" some kind of nice juga bila diri ini dijadikan rujukan. :D

so, as aku terfikir2 pasal macam mana lah ira ni esok, aku pun membuka lah topik di bilik aku ni. pasal kenangan mula-mula masuk matrik. maka bergelak tawa lah kami ni mengingat. all the cries and laughter. all the homesick. there I tell you, yang bodoh2 masa dulu yang buat kita ketawa today kan. :)

one of my roommate, name norjan, jenis yang cry out loud. so norjan said as her kakak walk out the door, she cries like berhabis meraung, didn't think about orang lain langsung. and she called her mum.

"mak, pulanglah aku!"
"jadi ndalah kau belajar?"
"belajar mak, form6 di kampung pun boleh. wuwuwuwu."


aku pernah dengar norjan menangis, so it is kind of pure cry from heart you know. yang kuat sambil tersengguk-sengguk. eh, what we call that? tersengguk is it? so, as I imagine about her crying, I laugh lah. must be funny.

and for aida pula. she said, baru ja sampai matrik, she was already counting about berapa hari mau balik rumah. like "satu bulan, 10 hari" and all that. and again calling with her mum.

"mak, aku mau pulang"
"iya, mamak pun rindu kau"
*tiba-tiba kakak aida yang rampas telefon
"ini jalan yang kau pilih!teruskan lah hidupmu sana!

boleh pula macam tu kan? ganas kakak aida ni, bukan nda sayang. but dalam setiap keluarga akan ada satu penguat semangat, since mama aida pun jenis lembut hati, silap-silap kalau kakak aida tiada at that time, free-free aida pulang sandakan berhenti matrik.

and as for me? my family, i mean, ibu and me jenis tabah-tabah punya orang kan. some kind of ego maybe mau nangis depan-depan, yang jenis cries softly at behind, yang jenis cepat2 bergerak after berpelukan so that we didn't cry in front of each other. so aku tiada lah cerita yang meraung-raung ni. and as aku sudah berjauh dari rumah since form 1, kurang lah sikit berat masa mau masuk matrik, but still berat lah yang macam tiba-tiba jantung aku berat 100kg before jalan dari rumah. but about being away from home, the best story of me is when my mum send me away masa form 1.

ayah saja yang hantar aku sampai SMSL(sek men sains labuan) masa tu. and preparation was fully made by ibu, that one day, yang aku bangun, and nampak 2 big luggage were fulled. hanger, jam loceng, sabun, baju, sweater, selipar tandas, complete! tinggal angkat and jalan. and masatu kan masi kecil, muda, so we are thinking about spending time with friends only, so masa mau jalan tu I didn't cry lah. but when ayah about to go, aku cakap. "bye, jalanlah ayah cepat!" sebab my tears was di hujung-hujung mata sudah. and malam tu, cuci kain. ehem, 1st time lah cuci kain pakai tangan, so as aku memberus tu, setiap berusan diiringi dengan esakan. and kalau orang lain masuk tandas, barulah esakan stopped, and lepas orang keluar, sambung teresak balik. homesick, semua orang pernah rasa. setabah mana pun, selelelaki mana pun, semua orang pernah rasa and cry like a baby to sleep just because of homesick.

and as for my dearest Ibu, ayah told me, the first time i was away from her, she was like dying. she walked to her workplace crying all the way. cry the whole weak, everytime masa makan, cry cry and cry. :') she said "apalah nisa makan ni?" :') awh, ibu, kasihmu sampai syurga. i know you think I didn't know about this til now but ayah did tell me a long time ago. same goes to this last year, when my bro mau sambung belajar WALAUPUN di kk ja yang only an hour from home pun, she called my aunt and lemah-lemah she says "si anip mau sambung belajar sudah. siapa lah di rumah ni. sunyi lah kami ni" ibu ibu, engkaulah ratu hatiku.

kalau diberi pilihan, nda aku mau jauh-jauh ni betul. sebab bila lagi aku mau di rumah. pasni kerja, pas kerja kahwin, so when lah aku akan habiskan masa dengan my ibu lagi. so ada hikmah juga single ni. paling kurang 3 4 tahun lagi kahwin, so 3 4 tahun ni ja la aku ada masa mau spend time with family and friends. kan kan. nah, that is one of the positive side of being single. pernah nda kau terfikir macam tu?;)

so berbalik pada cerita ira.

"ira, kakak tau, besok as ibu abah, apis and ijam walk out of your door room, you will cried your lungs out. as you stay the first night there, you will cry yourself to bed. but dear, endure the pain ya?" you were out for good. it is the time to face the world, walaupun kejam, this is the process to become a person. go there, study saja. jangan fikir pasal rumah. ibu abah, your sisters and brothers pandai lah atur hidup dorang without you at home. ayam2 pun kak mary kasi makan, jangan risau. :) kalau ada orang mengurat, layan saja. but study is your priority. score 4 flat. jangan jadi macam kakak. :) Iloveyou. call me anytime. I'm here for you. best wishes from kakak, love all the way from pahang. "

and ada one funny story between nenek dan ira.

"kau mau jadi apa nanti lepas matrik?"
"doktor kali nek"
"nda payah lah! jadi engineer saja supaya boleh kerja di sabah!"

haha. :D

nenek got this phobia where her one and only daughter, maci mismah, was away from home masa muda, kahwin semenanjung, live KL til now and jarang balik kampung. So, nenek don't wan't us, her cucu to be away. nenek pun selalu tanya aku

"nanti kau kerja di sini sini saja kan? ada kan kerja kau di kk kk?" nenek nenek. :)

this me and ira, last raya.